What is couples counseling?
Couples counseling is a collaborative method to heal your relationship, improve your friendship, practice effective and kind communication, and feel in your mind, body, heart and soul that you are respected by and connected to your loved one.
I think that most people who seek counseling for their relationship want to think to themselves, "my partner really understands, accepts, and loves me." You want the type of communication that allows you to speak and feel heard, and listen with receptivity. I think the bottom line is that you want to be yourself with the person you love and to feel confident that you can lean on one another, feel welcome to nourish your independence, and navigate life's bumpy terrain together.
The truth is that you may be a strong partnership in many areas. But in others - you attack, fight, blame, criticize, and withdraw. You think you're right...but so does your partner. You've reached a stalemate. Even though there was a time that you felt closer than even, right now - you've hit a wall, and you need help.
I get that this is a painful place to be - and I feel passionate about helping couples move forward. Feeling hurt, anger, and distance in a relationship with someone you love is one of the most frustrating and lonely experiences I see.
While couples counseling does not erase time or past hurts, it absolutely provides us with an opportunity to repair and heal a relationship. In fact, many couples come out the other side more resilient and loving than they were in the beginning.
What methods will we use?
First and fore-most, we will use methods that feel respectful to you, your partner, and your relationship.
In our first session, you will help me understand the dynamics that are contributing to your relationship's struggle. We will take a look at your relationship's strengths, how you attempt to repair arguments, and the factors that cause you to argue and feel disconnected. We will work on intentions, goals, and communication. I will explain to you that my practice is rooted in the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of personality, relationship, and psychotherapy.
In our therapy work, we will flow back and forth between working on communication and connection in the relationship, and encouraging each partner to see how the relationship triggers his/her individual wounds and fears. For the sake of yourself and your relationship, I will encourage you to address your individual wounds.
While I have received training in other modalities - I consistently see authentic change happen in IFS work. For this reason, IFS is the model that I often offer and suggest. To understand more about this model, you can visit the IFS website.
In addition to IFS, I have received training in attachment-based conceptual theory, Gottman-style couples counseling, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and mindfulness-based interventions. I consider myself to be a student-for-life. I receive ongoing supervision in the areas of trauma-focused recovery, eating disorder recovery, anxiety disorders, mood disorders, and depolarization in relationships. In addition, I am avid reader and TedTalk watcher - so, I may send you material that seems relevant to your process. All of this is to say that our work will be integrative, flexible, and tailored to you, your partner, and your relationship.
What are your rates?
I offer a complimentary hour-long consultation.
60-minute session: $150
90-minute session: $200
(click here to visit rate FAQs)
How will I know if we are a good fit?
The number one indicator of therapeutic success is the relationship between the client and therapist, so you can imagine that choosing a therapist is an immensely personal decision for you and your partner. It's important that you feel supported, heard, and understood.
I would recommend to follow your gut. If you feel that we are a good fit, then that is wonderful - our work can start! If not, or if you need something specific that I do not offer - then I will be happy to connect you to another professional that can meet your needs. If you are concerned with making sure that we are a good fit, please ask me about my FREE 30 minute phone or in-person consultation.